For instance, it wasn’t until after I kissed a pig at a charity event this past Saturday that I watched the news and learned
of worldwide rampant swine flu. Could this be the first pandemic Was I especially susceptible, I wondered, having done the nasty with a member of the porcine race How would I explain at the emergency room this wasn’t a lifestyle choice, just a dare for charity No, I wouldn’t have believed me either. And, for the record, the actual lip-smacking wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d dreaded. Nothing wet or smelly or gooey about it (once I’d removed a little dirt from my new friend’s nostrils). In fact, it was warm, dry and a little hairy — rather like kissing one of my English grandmas. We’ve always been a family that can grow a decent mustache. Another news item on Friday made me feel out if it. Apparently, it was the 10th anniversary of the SunPass system. Oh go ahead, party like it’s 1999, if you must. SunPass, if you’re even more behind the times than me, is Florida’s largest prepaid electronic toll program.
It began modestly enough, the Florida Department of Transportation press release helpfully informed me, with four lanes in Broward County and 5,000 customers. Today there’s a vast network of SunPass-only lanes, express lanes and SunPass-only ramps servicing more than 4 million motorists.