Here’s a little secret about entertainment reporting: When you read those little blurbs containing a quick celebrity quote, most likely those were obtained at
some sort of premiere or charity function that said celebrity is appearing. Then, some stooge just like me will approach them and attempt to get a good enough quote to be included in the next day’s copy. Now, this approach is a 50/50 proposition. Sometimes said celebrity will be gracious — knowing that you’re just trying to do your job — other times they’re, well, annoyed. And really… who can blame them It probably goes without saying that I despise this form of interview and rarely do it. I prefer to go through the proper channels before I’m eventually rejected — it adds a bit of formality to it. At least I can pretend it wasn’t personal an in-person rejection… it’s hard to convince myself it’s not personal. That’s not to say there’s no perks to these events: Hey! Open bar! I was recently invited to attend the VIP night of an event called “Design on a Dime” here in New York City. It’s organized by the non-profit — which provides housing for people that are HIV positive or living with AIDS — an organization I once interned for in their communications department. There was a certain pride returning as media — though my dreams of the event being a miserable failure without me were, sadly, dissolved quickly — but, I had difficult task ahead of me. You must realize that if you’re reading this, this website doesn’t often report on their writers getting drunk at celebrity galas, so that angle wasn’t really going to work. I needed a celebrity interview to be able to cover this charity event. Without one, I’ve got nothing (except, well, the open bar and a hangover). Across the room I see her. Parker Posey. Absolutely beautiful, but not in a ‘she looks twenty years younger than she is is supposed to look’ way. Screw it, all in: I decide this is the best strategy. I walk straight toward her. But with every step I start losing my confidence as quickly as a house would lose shingles during a hurricane. She was right in front of me and I … walk right past her. I can’t do it. I return to the open bar, frightened, and down a McSorley Ale. Damn it, man. Get yourself together you’re a professional. I return to the scene of the most recent failure in my life to try again. Parker is sitting on a couch posing for pictures with Jaclyn Smith. After finishing she receives the glad hand from those in attendance she is gracious in response to their compliments. Now, she’s right in front of me. I introduce myself … for a split second she could not have been a nicer human being. That was, until she found out I was in the media. When I asked about her new film, she recoiled, “Look, I’m just here for Housing Works. I really love them and I want it to just be about them. I don’t do interviews.” My heart broke. I acknowledged, “I love them, too. In fact I once did an internship for Housing Works.” Not expecting that response, Parker Posey gave me a look that can only be defined as, ‘You better not be fcking with me.’ I immediately name dropped at least five people that I know in the hierarchy of the non-profit. The shield she had raised was now gone, sort of. “Do you know why I don’t like doing press I have trouble condensing things, I’d rather have a conversation. These loud places… I find superficial.”
“But,” she continued on the subject of Happy Tears, “it was amazing working with [Demi Moore]. She’s just an amazing woman. She’s a super woman! She’s incredible. She’s so strong and intelligent her and [Kutcher] are just meant for each other. It’s very interesting to be around that.”